NICU Babies

NICU Babies

Dear sweet babies,

Tonight (well a few weeks ago because it’s taken some time to process and not feel as raw) I clocked out of the NICU for the last (for now) time. It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. The choice certainly did not come easy but it for very personal reasons it seems to be the right choice. In the past 8 years, I have spent some of my most sacred days with you. I put sweat and tears into caring for you and my fellow coworkers. Sweet babies handing you to your mama for the first time or standing beside your parents as they held you for your very last breath are the most holy moments of my life. I have celebrated every gram gained, every ml of milk you have consumed, every pee, every poop and every home-going with your family. I have savored every cuddle, rock, swaddle and gurgle. I have mourned every set back and every loss. You have challenged me, taught me, changed me, inspired me, and because of you I am a stronger, more loving, more capable person. You have created in my
heart more, love, empathy, understanding, acceptance and treasures. What a joy you have given me.

I feared what saying good bye for the time being would mean for my identity and how I would feel about losing my precious babes but honestly once a NICU nurse always a NICU nurse. I will carry you babies, your families and all my angels with every breath and beat of my heart for the rest of my days.

And here is a reminder dear little ones for life. Sometimes your dream job is no longer your dream and it’s ok to let it go and move on. People change, places change, dreams change. Change is inevitable. Change is scary. Change is hard. But if nothing ever changed we would miss the magic, love and best that change sometimes can preceed. Sometimesit takes letting go of good things to create space for best things. Don’t stop chasing the fire and passion in your heart no matter how many times your dreams evolve. Never let anything or anyone dull the sparkle in your eyes and light in soul.
I carry you with me always.

PS: does my work family know me or what.

I'd Love to hear your thoughts

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